Tech Trend Followers Gifts

Twitcher

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ISIS threatened to attack the Mall of America. That's so 1990s. What? Most people don't shop in malls anymore. Most of us shop online from home or from our phones. Someone should tell them the shopper-threatening business just isn't what it used to be. You're not taking them seriously enough. Wake me when they figure out how to send hordes of miniaturized men into my iPhone.

"Even though we're a tech company, we can only provide these walkie-talkies. That's the downside of being a startup."

"And this is Paul - he's in charge of our TikToks..."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Isn't there an app for this?"

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"That shirt is so last year."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

"What are you doing?"

Giraffe Selfie

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

'Tech stocks rose on news that nerds are now considered 'hip'.'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."