Tech Industry Gifts

"You new guys should fit in working here."

White Apple

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Outer Space Outsourcing

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

Satya Nutella

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

US v.s. Tech Giants

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"It's not an actual hotdog, but digital ownership in a picture of an actual hotdog."

Second lifeReal life.

"In my old job we were encouraged to run fast and break things."

Internet.

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

Twitter censorship

How logos change over time.

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

'You're hired, but remember, you can be replaced by a machine...believe me.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

"You're hired!"

Bluesky helicopter evacuation from X

SF NO

The whole family can't wrench a teen away from his computer.

There will be no economics report...our economics reporter got caught in the tech carnage...

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

'Tech stocks rose on news that nerds are now considered 'hip'.'

"See? Two seconds with my quantum physics app."

"All my gadgets are old. I'd like some new gadgets."

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

Haven't Rented a Game in 2 Weeks.