Tech Disconnect Fan Pillows

"I've locked myself out of my phone for an hour—I'm trying to be more present."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Time Machine Collision

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

"It appears you have a virus."

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."

"He says, 'What hath god wrought...' What should I write back?"

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

'Maybe we should get into high-tech.'

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'

I have to let you go, Dobson. I've just found out you were hired because of a computer error.

"Hi! Is this Jesus of Nazarath, son of David? This is Stan. We're family! I found you on Ancestry."

'For an interactive experience press the off button now.'

"Hey, I'd recognize your squeaky, high-pitched voice anytime."

Selfie Extension Stik

"Well, saying it over and over again doesn't make it true."

I'm having trouble with this new phone --- it has more capabilities than I do.

Clubs are great for instant messaging!

"Sure, we have problems, but at least we can talk about them."

Efficiency Expert Greeting

For the War Inventions Board. The Blow-bomb for Extinguishing the Fuses of Zeppelin Bombs.

A No-Nonsense Guy with His No-Nonsense Wife and Their No-Nonsense Dog

'Some things you just accept when you move to San Andreas.'

'I warned you that it wasn't user friendly!'

"Yes your smart fridge is impressive, but I'll stick to my phone."