Tech Disconnect Fan Pillows

"I've locked myself out of my phone for an hour—I'm trying to be more present."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Time Machine Collision

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

'Did you get through to the speaking clock, Dear?' 'Tick and tock and tick and tock and tick...'

"It appears you have a virus."

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."

"He says, 'What hath god wrought...' What should I write back?"

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

'We now pause for technical difficulties....'

'Maybe we should get into high-tech.'

I have to let you go, Dobson. I've just found out you were hired because of a computer error.

'For an interactive experience press the off button now.'

"Hey, I'd recognize your squeaky, high-pitched voice anytime."

Selfie Extension Stik

For the War Inventions Board. The Blow-bomb for Extinguishing the Fuses of Zeppelin Bombs.

Efficiency Expert Greeting

"Well, saying it over and over again doesn't make it true."

"Sure, we have problems, but at least we can talk about them."

'I warned you that it wasn't user friendly!'

"Yes your smart fridge is impressive, but I'll stick to my phone."

'Some things you just accept when you move to San Andreas.'

A No-Nonsense Guy with His No-Nonsense Wife and Their No-Nonsense Dog

Tear Along this Line.