Home Repair Fan Pillows

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. I

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'Well, that's fixed that.'

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"Life is so much easier since I brought the XL Robovax for Clive."

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

Back in a snap (chiropractor).

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

The bulb family leaves for vacation

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'Love your renovations.'

"Renovating your bathroom?"

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

'Now that's what I call fast food.'

"I programmed the refrigerator to hide from you in between meals."

"If we remove the stalactites and replace some rocks, we could flip it for a profit."

Mower Repair

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

'As you can see, it's a bit of an emergency.'

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

'Well! Well! Look what the cat dragged home!...'

"I found your problem. This is a horse."

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"