Home Maintenance Fan Pillows

Episcopalian Flue Jab.

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"Life is so much easier since I brought the XL Robovax for Clive."

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

Tortoise polishing his shell

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

"Did we just paint the house or did it just paint us?!"

The bulb family leaves for vacation

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

"I programmed the refrigerator to hide from you in between meals."

'Now that's what I call fast food.'

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

'You sure we can't afford another ladder?'

"I found your problem. This is a horse."

'the emergence of an era Household appliances now proven to be smarter than the average family"

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'

"No, it's not and earthquake. When our smart home goes into sleep mode, it tends to snore."

Root worker painting a unhappy face on the road.

Easter Bunny watching 'Dye Hard.'

Avon lady (selling foundation cream) tapping a builder on the shoulder.

'All I said was,'do you want decking,sir?'

Remote Toaster

'Bill, in the country it's a CELLAR not a BASEMENT! I won't come down 'til you use the proper term.'

'The ref likes a good clean fight!'

'The door jammed.'

'Never misplace a remote control again with this RemoteT-shirt, velcro combo!'

'I think it's time to clean out the refrigerator.'

"Ooh, nice! Hardwood floors!"

'Dad, where do they keep their chargers?'

Please Swipe Your Feet

"I told you that thermostat was too high, didn't I?"