Tech Critics Gifts

"I need attention! Does anybody have any?"

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

"I'm not going to make it. Show me how to delete my face book profile."

You know, you're an extremely unfriendly woman. Let me expand on that: you're an extremely unfriendly person. Let me expand on that even further: you're an extremely unfriendly recording.

Campaign Rally. I've heard about these human elections but don't understand them. Anybody with even the most rudimentary processor should see the glaring errors in the budget and tax proposals. And the way campaign promises are broken, it seems like nobody has any memory chips at all. Most importantly, why do they hold elections only every couple of years. Yeah, without upgrading they're stuck with obsolete leaders in less than twelve months!

Weapons of mass distractions

'Food additives you'd want to avoid - crayons, digital watch, first edition of 'Tale of Two Cities'.

'I'm not repeating the specials again until everyone puts down their phones.'

Please stand by we have temporarily lost our picture.

"This hike would be more fun if you would get off the &$**$!!! phone."

"I'm afraid a cell phone will give me cancer."

"In my day we had trimphones."

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

The cell phone soother for life.

"You know, there are other emojis."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Twitter censorship

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

"AI chat bot"

"I've just been reincarnated, anyone here know what iphone we're up to?"

Modern Day Kids Playing 'Telephone'

Social media and censorship...

It tells you the time? That's all it does? Well, isn't that just the cutest little thing?

Modern Life Blues

Oh, the armor is state of the art

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

Someday

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

'What's PPI and how did you get this number?'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."