Tech Industry Critic Gifts

"Roses are red, violets are blue. You smell like shit, and desperation too."

"You're a bad Silicon Valley CEO, are't you? You need to be regulated, don't you."

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

The cell phone soother for life.

Crap from the future.

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Twitter censorship

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

"AI chat bot"

How logos change over time.

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

Social media and censorship...

Oh, the armor is state of the art

Modern Day Kids Playing 'Telephone'

Modern Life Blues

It tells you the time? That's all it does? Well, isn't that just the cutest little thing?

"What we need in this organisation is more personal contact."

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

Someday

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

'What's PPI and how did you get this number?'

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I'm the innocent victim. School has gotten harder, and my cell phone has gotten dumber."

"Do you remember when families used to get together and fight at Christmas?"

The emperor has no phone!

'It's been going on for three years. When can we tell Scott it's really a shredder?'

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

Better Living Through Technology