Tech-confessor Gifts

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

"Textin’"

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"Was that my pager or yours?"

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

Binary Man

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

"Hey! Get back here!"

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

"Fact amnesty"

"And every year on this very day...he creeps into camp and steals everyones electronics."

S.S.dot.com

'Early Laptops.'

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

Information about information about information about information.

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

Domestic Spying Drones

I think therefore I am.

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

"It's not your phone service... you're talking into a spring roll."

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

"Here's what we've accomplished so far"