Tech Battles Gifts

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

'I hate PowerPoint.'

Musk v Zuckerberg - Rockem Sockem Robots

'My app just ate your widget.'

Cyberwarfare

"It's a really cool game! You're Bill Gates, and you have to fight off the evil agents of the Justice Department before they destroy your planet."

"Got some bad news for you, Larry."

Jim Balsillie orders dessert...

"I don't get this. I know that you're a computer hacker and must have done many bad things. But your record is completely clean!"

"Problem?"

"I am worthy of human kindness and care. I am worthy of human love and respect. I am worthy of huma rights and equality....or death to the f**king lot of 'em."

A man looks out a newly made window, while a smashed TV lies on the ground

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

"Huh, I've spent weeks trying to figure this out, and all I had to do was push that little button. She's on now though boy! Look at her go!"

Enraged by Wikileaks reports of CIA domestic surveillance via home electronics, Della Dinkerbonker fights back.

"I'm sorry to trouble you yet again with internet issues."

Replaced by a millennial with artificial intelligence.

"Pull over and check your phone" "Once more for good luck" "Maybe just another teensy look"

Ugh, you go ahead – I have five months of emails to catch up on.

'It's great to get back to the simple life,'

"I can't...I mustn't...I shouldn't...I needn't....but I will."

I hate blind carbon copies when the computers are down.

'Professional downloader of Napster files' looking for work

'Your reign of terror is over evil dragon, for I have slain your internet service provider!'

"I'll call you back. I'm in the middle of a make-over."

'I see the printer is acting up again.'

Sometimes my willpower needs a little reminding. Stop looking at your phone.

Skull Icons

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

"It's retro night, I turn off the wifi and everyone has to talk to each other. Party like it's 1995, dudes!"