Teary Treadmill Tales Gifts

Floor exercise: crying uncontrollably

Sleepwalker on treadmill

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

"All those years of dodging taxes and chasing investment yield have kept me in top shape, right?"

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

Walking To School Simulator

Olympic Torch Training

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it

Man on a treadmill desperately trying to get at a carrot dangling infront of him from a stick tied to his back

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

Executive fitness.

Bull Treadmill

New from NBC: 'World's Biggest Feline Loser.'

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

'If I get dizzy, and pass out there's a cherry danish in my lunch box.'

"There's a couple aliens at the door asking if you'll get off the treadmill - you're sending shockwaves through the time-space continuum."

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

"My New Year's resolution is to get fit and watch more TV."

JOE'S BAR: Treadmill available: relax, while it walks your dog'

"It's the groundhogs. They think you're the God of Thunder."

"He's exercising his right to be wrong."

Banana

"Let's try a slower speed."

'I used to run. Now I power walk.'

One Fine Day at the Gym

'Me, I've stopped going to the gym: There was never a suitable speed on the treadmills...'

Keep fit

You dope, that one's for cross-country runners.

'I see the marching season's over for the year.'

Spiky treadmill.