Tearful Jokester Pillows

Sad Humour

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

Men dancing

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

Leaving cards.

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

'When I said that I'd 'give you a ring', I meant on the phone. . .'

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"You're proposing to me with a flea collar?!"

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

"If we're to have a serious relationship Nigel, you must stop ringing my bell and running away."

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

"I hope your day is going bad."

'If you don't stop thinking about that waitress, I'm leaving!'

"I'm nuts about you, but then I'm nuts about everybody …"

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."