Team Restructuring Gifts

There's going to be a lot of this around here.

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

Others will fight for you

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

"We can waste time and look for a solution or...just find a scapegoat?"

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

Teamwork!

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"It's o.k., come on out."

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'