Family Restructuring Gifts

"I put them up after the divorce so that he knows his father is still part of his life."

'The kids in my class won't play with me because you're the only parents who aren't divorced.'

"Mommy want you to have everything she had when she was growing up."

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

'This is Bob - our secret agent of change.'

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

The family picnic is at 5. Would you please boil the eggs, Twig? And Teddy? Go clean out the cooler! Oh! Grab the badminton set, too. Stop. Your little cousins will need entertaining! Leave it to mom � To take the independence out of Independence Day.

New Memer/Incumbent

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

"I can't party like I used to, I've got enough Tupperware"

'Well, I'll say this: when the new boss came on board, it was a real game-changer for all of us!'

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

Do you mind if my mother joins our little business dinner ? You know what it's like, I don't want people from the office to think I'm sleeping my way to the top.

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

There's going to be a lot of this around here.

'Carson, this is the new organizational chart. This is you.'

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

Summer Outing Planning

"Our profits have been out-sourced ."

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."

Excess Baggage: The younger the traveler, the greater the amount of luggage required.

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

Desk trays - 'In' and 'Out-sourced'.

How human migration got started.