Company Restructuring Gifts

Desk trays - 'In' and 'Out-sourced'.

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

"We were too busy ignoring the warning signs to pay attention to the projected disaster."

"The water does taste a little funny. Maybe they added analgesics, to ease the pain of restructuring."

"The company simply must do something about the office space problem!"

'Well, I'll say this: when the new boss came on board, it was a real game-changer for all of us!'

"Have a seat, chief - while you were out the company was restructured."

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

I'm cutting out a complete layer of management.

'This should be done within the next ten minutes because our company will go bankrupt in about fifteen minutes.'

'Unfortunately, we've downsized everyone who knew what our hidden agenda was...'

A business that thinks alike...sinks alike.

'...And then senior management went on a corporate retreat and never came back.'

"Our carrier pigeon died. Maybe it was time to update our communication system, anyway."

"I refuse to go down with the ship."

"How's the reshuffle going?"

"Does anyone have a Plan B?"

"While you were at lunch, Mr. Merriman took the company private and went home with it to New Jersey."

"We trimmed the fat. Now all we have left is the gristle!"

Sometimes, good things fall apart, so better things can fall together.

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

Management's Fun Day at the Bankruptcy Court.

'Downsizing through attrition will work if enough employees will cooperate and die.'

The Downsizing Continues

'We trimmed most of the fat, Jimmy.'

'Tell the staff the company has hit a symbolic iceberg and is slowly sinking.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."