Job Restructuring Gifts

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

"He's worried that the changes might only affect 10% of the job, but it might be the 10% he knows something about!"

"I guess there've been more staff cuts than we thought."

"I'm relunctant to fire him until we at least figure out what he does here."

"It's a part of the new austerity program – e now run things by paralegal."

'I don't like it any more than you do, Johnson. But this is the business world, and that's just the way the cookie crumbles.'

'Just when I thought I had weeded out all of the deadwoodl, Weber...I spotted you!'

'I've just thought of a way to save the company £1800 a month.'

"I'm cutting out a complete layer of management."

"Bad news, Ron. The company has decided to end its experiment with flattened corporate hierarchies."

"We won't be kicking you upstairs after all, Luttermoser."

"We are looking at restructuring your team in a very unique way. Are you familiar with the term cannon fodder?"

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"What we didn't have but obviously needed was an alarmist."

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'This is what happens when we give up our resistance to change.'

New Memer/Incumbent