Teaching Inspirer Gifts

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

A Puppet Named Juan

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

I don't get the 5 paragraph essay. Do and outline. Topic. 3 examples. Conclusion. Ok. " 5 Graf Essay Stinks." Click click click. "2 long." Tap tap tap. "2 boring." "2 over." "#5grafmustdie." Thanks, Nana. It's a breakthrough! The 5-paragraph tweet!

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

'I will now read the results of my experiments in fruit genetics. . .'

"Remember double negatives are a complete no-no."

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

Student to Miss Belcastro, her history teacher: 'We need some newer history.'

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

"I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing."

"We want him to skip joined-up writing and get straight on to 3D printing."

"I wish school was more like TV."

'I find the best way to stop students from always talking to each other in class, is to keep asking questions. Then they have nothing to say.'

Where history's best ideas happen.

"If your certificate is removed, are you unable to teach?"

"If you wish to see your artwork displayed, don't forget your bio."

Congratulations on your PGCE.

Teacher's pet. 'For an inner city comprehensive.'

"So, Mrs. Miller, would you tell me briefly your methods for teaching reading, your overall philosophy of education, your views on testing, your ideas on discipline, your opinions about homework, the ways you could excite kids about science, and how you would upgrade math skills in our school should you be hired?"

'We are looking for highly motivated, confident decisions makers for headships. Is your son such a man, Mrs Smikins?'

Error! Lesson Plan has no Aim!

"Thank you for computerising the company - you are now obsolete, Goodbye."

"Just get out there and be yourself – or better yet, someone like me."

At least you got a 'works well with food grade' in lunchroom.

'Product diversification, I like that.'

"There's nothing to be scared of, Mrs. Miller, it's just another teaching tool!"

"Hi, Honey, so how's the new teaching job going?"

'I keep thinking about teaching.'

'If you finish your first year of teaching and haven't destroyed the innate curiosity of your young students, you are a successful teacher.'