Teaching Inspirer Mugs

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

A Puppet Named Juan

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

'I will now read the results of my experiments in fruit genetics. . .'

"Remember double negatives are a complete no-no."

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

Student to Miss Belcastro, her history teacher: 'We need some newer history.'

"I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing."

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"We want him to skip joined-up writing and get straight on to 3D printing."

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

"I wish school was more like TV."

'I find the best way to stop students from always talking to each other in class, is to keep asking questions. Then they have nothing to say.'

"If your certificate is removed, are you unable to teach?"

"So, Mrs. Miller, would you tell me briefly your methods for teaching reading, your overall philosophy of education, your views on testing, your ideas on discipline, your opinions about homework, the ways you could excite kids about science, and how you would upgrade math skills in our school should you be hired?"

Congratulations on your PGCE.

"If you wish to see your artwork displayed, don't forget your bio."

Teacher's pet. 'For an inner city comprehensive.'

'We are looking for highly motivated, confident decisions makers for headships. Is your son such a man, Mrs Smikins?'

Error! Lesson Plan has no Aim!

"Thank you for computerising the company - you are now obsolete, Goodbye."

"Just get out there and be yourself – or better yet, someone like me."

At least you got a 'works well with food grade' in lunchroom.

'Product diversification, I like that.'

"There's nothing to be scared of, Mrs. Miller, it's just another teaching tool!"

"Hi, Honey, so how's the new teaching job going?"

'I keep thinking about teaching.'

'If you finish your first year of teaching and haven't destroyed the innate curiosity of your young students, you are a successful teacher.'

'The board couldn't come up with a 'Plan-A'.'