Teacher Of Life's Quirky Lessons Pillows

'I'm afraid I'm going to have to fail you. Sticking your head out the window while driving is incredibly dangerous.'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Home Schooling'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

Benjamin Franklin

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

'It actually stands for 'substitute' but it keeps the children in line.'

'Think Basics.'

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

Keep students on their toes...

'Today in Tactile Effusions Class we are going to pop the bubbles in this packing material.'

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

'My 'harrumphs' are losing their volume.'

'Oh look, I a flying saw sir.'

'Sir, one question... When will we know if we've run-out of invisible ink?'

Did you know you move your lips when you read?

'They canceled school today -- the teacher couldn't find her hand puppets.'

A teacher sits in front of a blackboard that advertises various school subjects as being for sale.

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

'I won't be coming in again - my dad's set up a free school in his shed.'

Reality, and lots of it!

'Don't be a fool, Kevin! How do you know that he's a certified teaching pro?'

"On the other hand, you learn through failure."

'Let me through, I'm a doctor of philosophy ...'

'By a show of hands who knows the sound of one hand smelling?'

Those who indulge are about to bulge.

School of Hard Knocks

Hall monitor lizard: 'Hey! No running!'

"How can you be failing history?"

'Couldn't you just give out gold stars like the other teachers, Miss Price?'

Sign at infants school - Beware of the Puppy