Teacher Of Life's Quirky Lessons Pillows

'I'm afraid I'm going to have to fail you. Sticking your head out the window while driving is incredibly dangerous.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Home Schooling'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

Benjamin Franklin

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

'Think Basics.'

'It actually stands for 'substitute' but it keeps the children in line.'

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

'My 'harrumphs' are losing their volume.'

'Today in Tactile Effusions Class we are going to pop the bubbles in this packing material.'

'Do you have to explain nutrition with a pie chart?'

"The big boot Italy ain't gonna kick the small shoe Sicily no more, capiche?"

'Oh look, I a flying saw sir.'

'Sir, one question... When will we know if we've run-out of invisible ink?'

'They canceled school today -- the teacher couldn't find her hand puppets.'

A teacher sits in front of a blackboard that advertises various school subjects as being for sale.

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

'I won't be coming in again - my dad's set up a free school in his shed.'

Reality, and lots of it!

'Don't be a fool, Kevin! How do you know that he's a certified teaching pro?'

'Let me through, I'm a doctor of philosophy ...'

"On the other hand, you learn through failure."

Hall monitor lizard: 'Hey! No running!'

"How can you be failing history?"

'These shooting sticks are not very comfortable!'

'Couldn't you just give out gold stars like the other teachers, Miss Price?'

Those who indulge are about to bulge.

'I'd like to try some coffins.' - 'Let me show you our standard size.' - 'It feels a bit tight around the waist.' - 'How are you looking to die?' - 'I don't know, really.' - 'I'd recommend a wasting disease.' -