Teacher With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'It actually stands for 'substitute' but it keeps the children in line.'

Sign at infants school - Beware of the Puppy

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

K-9 Garten

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"No dessert until you eat all your candy."

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

Kate's Evil Plan: 'Danae...I got a letter from your teacher today...she say's you've been very well-behaved lately...and is worried about what you're really up to.'

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

Mobile Phone Mobile.

Lack History Month

'Today in Tactile Effusions Class we are going to pop the bubbles in this packing material.'

Adjunct educator substitute teacher.

'You wanted a second opinion?'

'We just have to stop meeting like this!'

'Oh look, I a flying saw sir.'

'Play among yourselves while I deal with my stage fright.'

'Come on. You've been nursing that pint for hours!'

"How do we know this isn't a ponzi scheme?"

'As it's your first day Frobisher, I feel I should warn you that the pupils can be a bit of a handful!'

I will stop making two people who have nothing in common fall in love.

"I will now open the floor to questions. Bye bye!"

"What do you call a fish with no eyes?" "A Fsh."

'Look, mom. We got them instead of stars on our papers.'

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

'How's my son? He swallowed 50p?'