Storyteller Of Lessons Pillows

Industry and Idleness - The idle apprentice betrayed by a prostitute.

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

'A dog ate my homework.'

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

"Simon, I'm not really interested in your juvenilia."

"In this life son, if you want something, you have to hunt for it."

"My report on summer vacation. . . Book and movie rights are available for $1000 each."

The Battle of the Pictures.

Four years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ Show, our resident octogenarian asked listeners for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Dear Sadie, I was going to suggest you start a YouTube channel to share your advice with younger people. But YouTube just stabbed its content creators in the back. They stopped showing ads on videos discussing anything even remotely controversial. That's going to put so many important voices out of business. So I don't really have an

Criminal background checks on teachers? How come? To weed out child abusers. Ha! When you taught, you were routinely accused of severe abuse, mother. True. I inflicted the letters "C," "D" and "F" on many of my students. Wow! That's so outlawed.

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

Be prepared - Don't jump to confusion.

'After the big race the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

"Oh, great. Humble Beginnings."

"I forgot my homework, but there's a video of me doing it on youtube."

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

"The quality of the writing is an embarrassment, it has no style, no fluency, no soul!"

"Don't think of it as being grounded. Think of it as suffering the consequences of your monumental stupidity."

'Dad, the teacher said my grades remind her of old times. She says she was your teacher too.'

'False alarm! I'm back. It was only a career suicide.'

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'

"Remember, Timmy. Anything worth doing is worth having somebody do well."

Being married is like working backstage at a magic show.