Tchotchke Enthusiast Pillows

"Just because you collect them doesn't make them collectibles."

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

"Are we interested in a meticulously detailed, genuine silver coin, issued and authenticated by the Franklin Mint, honoring whichever schmuck wins?"

Nutcracker in a Tutu

"As seen on TikTok...."

Sauron's Sore Eye

'I found out what makes him tick - he'd swallowed a watch!'

'You'll be having extensive dental surgery...'

Trepak from Nutcracker

"My weakness is collectible porcelain ponies."

Tolkien Characters That Never Made it out of the Author's Notebooks

Pyotr Tchaikovsky

Tractors play tic-tac-toe while plowing field.

'Granted getting stuck in her teeth is a small victory, but a victory none the less.'

Chinese dancers

Mirlitons from the Nutcracker

'Ugh, why did I ever get these tattoos?'

'But we agreed on terracotta- you liked terracotta! I am not sending them back!'

"Oh, I forgot to tell you: I was adopted."

Nutcracker Selfie

Odette cries! Swan Lake

"I keep reading 'Lord of the Rings' over and over again...!"

Married to a Honky-Tonk Man: 'Hey! Hey! Mama! Can yer daddy come home!

"Skip the Hygiene Video, just pick my teeth."

"Neither Confucius nor Lao-Tse nor Buddha can help you. You either have a knack for chopsticks, or you don't ."

"Wake up – you're Tolkien in your sleep again."