Tchotchke Admirer Pillows

"Are we interested in a meticulously detailed, genuine silver coin, issued and authenticated by the Franklin Mint, honoring whichever schmuck wins?"

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

War and Peace GIF

Mouse King

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

Nutcracker in a Tutu

Nutcracker mice

'Before I agree to marry you, I want to see what you look like with clothes on!'

"He and Carruthers are both doing biographies of Tolstoy, and it's a race to the finish."

"As seen on TikTok...."

Trepak from Nutcracker

'You'll be having extensive dental surgery...'

'I found out what makes him tick - he'd swallowed a watch!'

"My weakness is collectible porcelain ponies."

"Tonight I shall be humming Chopin's Sonata..."

Trilby - 'Un Impromptu de Chopin'.

Tolkien Characters That Never Made it out of the Author's Notebooks

"I read War and Peace, liked 1/2 of it."

Rothbart from Swan Lake

Pyotr Tchaikovsky

Revolutionary Study

Chinese dancers

Mirlitons from the Nutcracker

Russian dancers

"Just because you collect them doesn't make them collectibles."

Goldilocks and a couple from out of town

Nutcracker Selfie

Odette cries! Swan Lake

"So that's one porridge too hot, one too cold and one just right."

"Let's now take a moment to remember those we've lost to dogs and roof gutters."