Tchotchke Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Just because you collect them doesn't make them collectibles."

"It's too late for Jim. The tchotchkes have him now."

Lord of the Rings IV.

"Are we interested in a meticulously detailed, genuine silver coin, issued and authenticated by the Franklin Mint, honoring whichever schmuck wins?"

'Nine years after the conclusion of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Gollum reveals how he wins Steve Buscemi look-alike contests.'

X. O. Whaddaya say we take a break from tic-tac-toe for some hugs 'n' kisses?

The Landlord Of The Rings

Nutcracker in a Tutu

"As seen on TikTok...."

'I found out what makes him tick - he'd swallowed a watch!'

"My weakness is collectible porcelain ponies."

'You'll be having extensive dental surgery...'

Trepak from Nutcracker

X. O. Whaddaya say we take a break from tic-tac-toe for some hugs 'n' kisses? (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-01-08).

Tolkien Characters That Never Made it out of the Author's Notebooks

Sauron's Sore Eye

Pyotr Tchaikovsky

'Where do you buy your clothes, Frodo?' 'Erm, Orcsfam, Gandalf. Orcsfam.'

Tractors play tic-tac-toe while plowing field.

Chinese dancers

'Granted getting stuck in her teeth is a small victory, but a victory none the less.'

Image of Trump sticking tongue out on app on phone.

'Ugh, why did I ever get these tattoos?'

Mirlitons from the Nutcracker

'But we agreed on terracotta- you liked terracotta! I am not sending them back!'

"Oh, I forgot to tell you: I was adopted."

Odette cries! Swan Lake

Nutcracker Selfie

"I keep reading 'Lord of the Rings' over and over again...!"

'It'll be ready by next Tuesday.'

Married to a Honky-Tonk Man: 'Hey! Hey! Mama! Can yer daddy come home!

Gord of the Rings

Look, Mr. Frodo--a plot device!

"Skip the Hygiene Video, just pick my teeth."

"Neither Confucius nor Lao-Tse nor Buddha can help you. You either have a knack for chopsticks, or you don't ."