Taxman Gifts

Disraeli Stands for Protectionism

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

IRS Audit Section

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'