Taxation Tactician Pillows

'I notice you're claiming non-domicile status, Mr Bull...'

'From January to May I work for the government to pay for my income tax and from May to October to pay for my malpractice insurance.'

"We got a report that you're rolling in dough."

"You promised an advance...but this is more of a tactical withdrawal."

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

FIRST NATIONAL BANK, 'The Government came and took your account, sir -- they said you'd understand.'

IRS AUDIT DEPARTMENT, 'It's a bet -- if I don't take the next one down, I owe you a hundred bucks.'

"Okay - you give us our super rich tax breaks and we will give you unemployed benefits."

'I'm not stopping until you beg for more.'

I.R.S. - Donate your tax refund to 'adopt a city'.

'First of all, the quarterly estimate doesn't mean you send us 25 pennies.'

'Psst - my wife works part time for the IRS!'

"Tax evasion? Tax money funds our society, right? Well, I'm part of that society...So I'm just cutting out the middle man by keep the money!"

IRS Taking Candy From A Baby

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

Offshore tax havens.

'I move we go on record for fewer imports here and more imports there!'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

"Leak to the press: Brussels bail-outs are French currency manipulation, costing British bureaucrats' jobs!"