Tax Return Tactician Pillows

'Hey, there's an IRS truck out front. And a bunch of agents. I'll bet they're delivering our refund. . .'

"What do you want, accuracy or plausible deniability?"

'I'm worried, Dear. My agent and his supervisor are arguing over first dibs at our audit.'

'I can't find a darn thing wrong with your return -- could you come back tomorrow?'

Mr Small had the sinking feeling that his meeting with the tax inspector might not be as smooth as he'd hoped...

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'I move we go on record for fewer imports here and more imports there!'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

"Today workers in socialistic economies sought private sector solutions. Workers in predominantly private sector economies want more socialism."

"Leak to the press: Brussels bail-outs are French currency manipulation, costing British bureaucrats' jobs!"

Osbourne plans for another 'Giveaway' Budget

"It's written in invisible ink."

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

"We got a report that you're rolling in dough."

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

'These continuous tax increases will be the death of us.'

"Now, Mr. Lindsay. About this non-profit organization you head."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

'Why I'm not my cheery self? It's tax-time...'

'I didn't make any money last year because you destroyed my incentive the year before.'

"The I.R.S. can't hurt him anymore."

"So that's a 'no'. . .?"