Tax Code Tactician Pillows

'No campaign contributions to deduct? -- Tsk, tsk, tsk....'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

'I move we go on record for fewer imports here and more imports there!'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

"Today workers in socialistic economies sought private sector solutions. Workers in predominantly private sector economies want more socialism."

Osbourne plans for another 'Giveaway' Budget

"It's written in invisible ink."

"Leak to the press: Brussels bail-outs are French currency manipulation, costing British bureaucrats' jobs!"

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

"We got a report that you're rolling in dough."

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Now, Mr. Lindsay. About this non-profit organization you head."

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'I didn't make any money last year because you destroyed my incentive the year before.'

"So that's a 'no'. . .?"

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

'You can buy low and sell high, but they still tax you right down the middle!'

"It's funny how two intelligent people can have such opposite interpretations of the tax code!"

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

"He's hit, and he's hurt. Now we'll follow his audit trial and finish him off."

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'