Tax Trivia Buff Pillows

"What triggered the audit? On your facebook page, you said you were a person of 'untold wealth'."

"When you said meet me at your workplace, I assumed you had an office!"

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

Tax Dodgers of the Rich and Famous.

"He's ready for you now. Don't forget to ask for the job at the end of the interview."

"My computer made an honest mistake - it was hacked by Russians."

"The IRS are everywhere, they're taxing everything."

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''

Stimulus bust

'You Americans call it 'Illegal Tax Evasion'? Well, here in Europe, we call it 'Monaco Effect Investments''!

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

'I'm not experienced, but I have a PhD in Byzantine history.'

"I now represent both death and taxes."

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"It's not fair that we have to pay taxes on something we don't have - last year's income."

'I feel sure I'm paying too little tax, who do I see about it?'

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

irs, 'You were wrong -- they WEREN'T more afraid of me than I was of them.'

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."