Tax Trivia Buff Gifts

"When you said meet me at your workplace, I assumed you had an office!"

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

Tax Dodgers of the Rich and Famous.

"He's ready for you now. Don't forget to ask for the job at the end of the interview."

"My computer made an honest mistake - it was hacked by Russians."

"The IRS are everywhere, they're taxing everything."

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

'You Americans call it 'Illegal Tax Evasion'? Well, here in Europe, we call it 'Monaco Effect Investments''!

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''

Stimulus bust

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

'I'm not experienced, but I have a PhD in Byzantine history.'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"It's not fair that we have to pay taxes on something we don't have - last year's income."

'This is great fiction! My cousin, an agent in Hollywood, may be able to sell book and movie rights.'

Tax relief

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

tax

'I feel sure I'm paying too little tax, who do I see about it?'

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

'Professor Blaupunkt's research, funded by the I.R.S., is to find any signs of taxes on other planets.'