Tax Trivia Enthusiast Pillows

"Why do I need to pay sales tax when it wasn't on sale?"

'I can't play -- I'm being audited.'

'Ethelred - What we're offering is the chance to consolidate all your Danegeld payments into one manageable lump sum.'

"Have I met my deductible yet?"

"It's great that you lost weight, but you don't pay less taxes because there's less of you."

"We take a very dim view of these kind of tax evasion tactics, Mr. Jones!"

Tax Loopty Loopholes

'It doesn't sound good ... the office music is playing 'Cry Me A River'.'

'I'm not experienced, but I have a PhD in Byzantine history.'

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

"Sir, there's an Irving R. Schwartz to see you."

"I'm a surrogate birth mother for hire. How do I claim my income?"

"I've never objected to paying tax... as long as it's other people paying."

"No, no, he's not dead. IRS comes up here once a year to collect unpaid taxes."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."