Tax Trivia Aficionado Pillows

'Professor Blaupunkt's research, funded by the I.R.S., is to find any signs of taxes on other planets.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

"Carpe De Revenue!"

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

'You realize, of course, Death is the ultimate tax shelter?'

New Improved I.R.S.

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

Stimulus bust

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."