Taxation Trivia Buff Pillows

Accounting department: Taxable income/Deferred Income/Loophole Research and Development.

Minnesota taxes

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

"You can't be serious about all these travel expenses in December!"

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'You realize, of course, Death is the ultimate tax shelter?'

'We learned today that the world is a huge ball, which revolves on it's taxes.'

Budget reaction.

'I'm not experienced, but I have a PhD in Byzantine history.'

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

Our 4 Branches of Government

'If the meek inherit the earth, imagine the capital gains tax.'

'Maybe we can't fool all the people all the time, but we sure can tax all the people all the time.'

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

'Professor Blaupunkt's research, funded by the I.R.S., is to find any signs of taxes on other planets.'

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

Tax relief

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

Inside Jim Flaherty's office.

tax

"So let me see... for your last will you have decided to bequeath all your unpaid tax bills to your ex husband."

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."