Tax Tactic Master Pillows

"There's accounting, there's creative accounting, and then there's G. Thomas Whatly."

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

Accountant Bedtime Stories

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

Offshore tax havens.

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

"Today workers in socialistic economies sought private sector solutions. Workers in predominantly private sector economies want more socialism."

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

Osbourne plans for another 'Giveaway' Budget

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

"We got a report that you're rolling in dough."

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Now, Mr. Lindsay. About this non-profit organization you head."

'I didn't make any money last year because you destroyed my incentive the year before.'

IRS: April is the cruelest month.

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'You can buy low and sell high, but they still tax you right down the middle!'

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

"He's hit, and he's hurt. Now we'll follow his audit trial and finish him off."

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

'Bonds dropped on news that interest rates might rise... stocks dropped on news that taxes might rise...'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'Here's where they added the flat tax.'