Tax Tactic Enthusiast Pillows

Small Business Advisor - Dealing with the taxman.

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

Minion, I've noticed several of the patrons are working on their laptops, tablets and phones. Yeah, that's what people do in cafes, boss. Are you aware, minion, that states and municipalities regularly tax people who conduct business within their borders? I don't see why the state should have a monopoly on taxation. Do you, minion? Inform the patrons they've missed the cafe's April 15th filing deadline, so there will be penalties. If the government can be "We the People," Armstrong Maynard can b

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'Do you, John, accept a married tax allowance with Sandra ?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

"Carpe De Revenue!"

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

Footing The Bill

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

"Get someone to make the slot bigger."

'Don't come too close - this baby will tear you to pieces, bite your head off and drink your blood... I've called him 'Fiscal Policy'.'

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

Offshore tax havens.

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

'You realize, of course, Death is the ultimate tax shelter?'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

New Improved I.R.S.

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

"I now represent both death and taxes."