Tax Season Hero Gifts

"In the middle of filing your income tax electronically, there was a power failure?"

The IRS emptied my pouch.

Dr. Kapuchnik, I feel like there are powerful, sinister, unseen forces conspiring to do me harm, even though I haven't done anything wrong. Does this condition have a name? It's called April 15th, Al. Tax day.

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

Tax Collector

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

'Oh no! It's VAT man!'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

IRS. April 15th is the deadlie for filing your return, not a "best if used by" date.

'I called you in here because your expenses and contributions appear to be quite elaborate!'

New For Halloween! Sexy C.P.A.

The Red-Light Accounting District

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

"These here accountants should be ready just in time for tax season."

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

'Giving to the poor is deductible, Mr. Hood, but taking from the rich is still problematic.'

'Why I'm not my cheery self? It's tax-time...'

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'

'Definitely not unusual behavior this time of year, but certainly seldom witnessed!'

'This is kind of a bad time - could we have an affair AFTER tax day'

Snowman in front of IRS wears barrel

'Earn it...and they will come.'

Good Accountant/Bad Accountant.

"All economic hope abandon ye who enter here."

Annual sleep disorder for tax accountants.

'Your money? — does it or does it not have 'United States Treasury' printed on it?

'Oh, yeah, they're cute until you can no longer claim them as dependents on your tax return.'

"Mom said I'm her favorite dependent."

View my Tax Return $15

"You're lucky. We've bagged our limit for this tax season."

Office of Tax Simplification. Use other door. Not an entrance. Doing my taxes is confusing! It's so stressful I eat junk food for weeks. So, the same thing happens every April ... I find myself in a bigger slacks bracket.

"Since I never actually go to the gym, can I deduct the membership fees as a charitable contribution?"

"Once tax season is over, you can go back to being the only child."