Tax Superhero Gifts

'Not only can I not find the midle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

Super-Mario Draghi

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

'I may feel like a million bucks, but after taxes I look like two dollars and fifteen cents.'

'My records show that you haven't filed a tax return for 17 years!'

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

Would you like a tissue - they're 24p plus VAT.

Rhinestone Accountant

When accountants carry out dawn raids.

"Our property taxes went up agian."

The New IRS

'The businessman's lunch is just like the regular lunch, sir, except that it's more heavily taxed.'

"On earth that is all ya know and all ye need know- except at tax time."

'I hereby leave all my debts and overdrafts to the IRS. . .'

'Put the teeth away. I'm the Audit Fairy.'