Tax Savvy Strategist Pillows

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

"Alright, I'll pay the extortion money...but only because it's a tax deduction!"

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"Get someone to make the slot bigger."

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

'Keep a lid on it!'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

'Sir, what's this big once in a lifetime nonnegotiable deduction?'

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'

Are you sure Milton Keynes is not a tax haven?

IRS, 'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

'There are billions and billions of dollars of unreported income. How come we don't have any of it?'

'Your money? — does it or does it not have 'United States Treasury' printed on it?

'What would be the point to be super-rich if we're super-taxed?'

"With the new tax code, I have until 2025 to become a one-percenter."

"Since I never actually go to the gym, can I deduct the membership fees as a charitable contribution?"

You hid your money offshore to avoid taxes? Not just that … Years ago, after exhaustive research, I concluded that our entire socio-economic apparatus would collapse in an orgy of chaos and food-rioting, due to the unsustainable burden of our welfare culture. I started squirreling away my profits, as soon as that communist got elected president. Biden is not a communist. I was talking about Reagan.

'What the... they raised our property tax assessment 21 percent because we added a birdbath!'

'This is all very clever, Mr. Quigley, but there was a court ruling years ago that marriages can't be classified as non-profit organizations.'

"I'll be out of circulation for awhile."

"My tax refunds are great! I write off the mileage, report all of the presents as charitable donations and use undocumented elves for labor."

"Ms. Jones, find out what my favorite charity is and let me know please."

"Your tax avoidance scheme is here Mr. Brown."

I.R.S spying on a gold prospector.

Guide to Conservative Economics: Spot the Sponger