Tax-savvy Thinker Pillows

"Well, you see Mr. Hovis, let me see if I can explain this in a 'user friendly' way. The chances of you becoming a billionaire now, tomorrow, or at any time in the foreseeable future, is pretty small so you need to pay your taxes."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

New Improved I.R.S.

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'We learned today that the world is a huge ball, which revolves on it's taxes.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

Budget reaction.

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

'You Americans call it 'Illegal Tax Evasion'? Well, here in Europe, we call it 'Monaco Effect Investments''!

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

Stimulus bust