Tax Strategy Buff Pillows

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"Get someone to make the slot bigger."

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

Offshore tax havens.

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

The Mattress Savings Bank

'Keep a lid on it!'

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'...And to spare my relatives the burden of inheritance taxes, I've decided not to give them anything.'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

"I'm going to look for a mortgage...I may be some time!"

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

IRS, 'Yes, but in order to deduct it, you have to be a LICENSED wine-taster.'

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'

'When I was a youngster I was going to be a Rock GOD, but the allure of working with multi-denominational tax efficient offshore bonds proved too strong.'

'We have a faith-based pension plan... You just have to pray it will still be there when you retire.'

IRS, 'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

'There are billions and billions of dollars of unreported income. How come we don't have any of it?'

"Ah Watson, reducing your taxes was simplicity itself. They were but elementary deductions."

Small Business Advisor - Dealing with the taxman.

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

'There's more to life than winning; there's also taking losses as tax write-offs, That's it?'