Tax Strategy Fan Pillows

Guide to Conservative Economics: Spot the Sponger

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

Offshore tax havens.

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

'I'm dressed as a vat inspector.'

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

The Mattress Savings Bank

'Keep a lid on it!'

"If we were a business - rather than a government - we'd be bankrupt!"

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

'I'm afraid, Mr.Siimkins, that you have been badly advised - Birmingham is NOT a tax haven. . .'

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

'When I was a youngster I was going to be a Rock GOD, but the allure of working with multi-denominational tax efficient offshore bonds proved too strong.'

"No more stress!"

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

IRS, 'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

'There are billions and billions of dollars of unreported income. How come we don't have any of it?'