Tax Strategy Fan Pillows

Guide to Conservative Economics: Spot the Sponger

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

'Let's go home and come back next year. It's Ground Hog Deficit!'

"Get someone to make the slot bigger."

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

Offshore tax havens.

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'I'm dressed as a vat inspector.'

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

They had no idea what they were doing, but it didn't matter...

"If we were a business - rather than a government - we'd be bankrupt!"

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

The Mattress Savings Bank

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'Keep a lid on it!'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'I'm afraid, Mr.Siimkins, that you have been badly advised - Birmingham is NOT a tax haven. . .'

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

I don't know … some days it all feels like a big game.

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

'When I was a youngster I was going to be a Rock GOD, but the allure of working with multi-denominational tax efficient offshore bonds proved too strong.'

"If only there was a thesaurus for numbers."

"No more stress!"

IRS, 'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'