Tax-savvy Entertainer Gifts

"It's from the I.R.S. - they saw your income and sent you a sympathy card."

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

Dance of the sugar plum tax attorneys.

Yes, they are all dependants."

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

'How much for you to do my tax return?'

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

"It's a profit and loss statement. Read it with gusto!"

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

'I may feel like a million bucks, but after taxes I look like two dollars and fifteen cents.'

'My records show that you haven't filed a tax return for 17 years!'

Rhinestone Accountant

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

Would you like a tissue - they're 24p plus VAT.

'From January to May, I work for the government to pay for my income tax and from May to October to pay for my malpractice insurance.'

'The businessman's lunch is just like the regular lunch, sir, except that it's more heavily taxed.'

"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Sounds like a man who never had a tax return audited.

"Our property taxes went up agian."

The New IRS

"On earth that is all ya know and all ye need know- except at tax time."