Taxation Comedian Gifts

'With the tax cut and the federal deficit, the only solution is for you to earn more, Mr. Syms.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

Yes, they are all dependants."

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

'My records show that you haven't filed a tax return for 17 years!'

Rhinestone Accountant

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

Would you like a tissue - they're 24p plus VAT.

"Our property taxes went up agian."

"On earth that is all ya know and all ye need know- except at tax time."