Tax-savvy Dad Pillows

"It's a dependent!"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

Dance of the sugar plum tax attorneys.

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

'You Americans call it 'Illegal Tax Evasion'? Well, here in Europe, we call it 'Monaco Effect Investments''!

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

Stimulus bust

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

irs, 'You were wrong -- they WEREN'T more afraid of me than I was of them.'

'This is great fiction! My cousin, an agent in Hollywood, may be able to sell book and movie rights.'

'This rebate check isn't big enough for both of us.'

"Not now, honey. Daddy's arguing with strangers about the sexual orientation of puppets."

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."

"The kids? They're great! Karen got retweeted by a famous YouTuber and Timmy just hit 16K Insta followers. They start influencing so quickly, don't they?"

"It's not fair that we have to pay taxes on something we don't have - last year's income."

'I feel sure I'm paying too little tax, who do I see about it?'

Are you sure Milton Keynes is not a tax haven?

IRS, 'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

"Dress it up all you want – it's still and invasion of my privacy."

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

'Please enter the amount owed here...use an extra sheet of paper if required.'

'Today, tax free municipals rose...on news that what's important is not how much you earn, but how much you get to keep!'

'If you were a tree, which one would you want to end up as?'

'And the first question on celebrity 'Where's the money?' issss... Lord Ashcroft!'

'He wasn't in, but I did manage to get a photo of her sitting on Santa's laptop.'