Tax-savvy Parent Pillows

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

The Digital Family

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"It's a dependent!"

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

"Go ask your search engine."

'Your son stopped passing notes to his friends in class. Now he's text messaging them.'

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

Newborn Uses Smartphone To Send His Dad A Text Message.

'Mom, I think the baby just downloaded.'

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

Today's Mothers Day!

"Before Thornton goes to bed, you might let him spend some time with this toy. It's a new concept in bubble-making technology. As you will note, it has a number of interchangeable components that allow for many variations and options as to the quantity an

"Hey - the GPS tracker I put on my Easter basket says it's in the kitchen!"