Tax Ninja Gifts

"I'm too smart to pay tax..."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

IRS Audit Section

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

"Taxation, meet Representation."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

'Do you have an appointment?'

Look at it this way, you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway!

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

"You wouldn't dare say that to me if my accountant were here."

"Found meat is income."

The Accountant Husband

'...We're just the Intergalactic Rescue Society.'

"Our computers will be down for an hour, so I advise everyone to hide under their desks. The last time it was total anarchy until we were back online."

People being buried under enormous falling tax credit forms.