Tax Return Ninja Gifts

"You failed to enclose with your rebate form the correct tail feather from an extinct bird species so we are unable to process your request..."

I'm self employed being self employed

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

"Taxation, meet Representation."

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

The Accountant Husband

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

Work Du Soleil

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

Retrofitting Tax Loopholes Since 1968.

"If you have to ask what a loophole is, you probably can't afford it."

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'

"Oh boy, am I never glad to see you."

'Sorry, you can't claim depreciation on your wife.'

'Daddy, tell me again about the brave boy accountant who used his finger to plug the tax loophole in the revenue dike.'

Accountant to man: 'I can get you a rapid refund ... and an even quicker audit.'

'You feel it? Tax havens and Swiss bank accounts are back in!'

"We'd like to go somewhere that qualifies as a tax deduction."

"Ah Watson, reducing your taxes was simplicity itself. They were but elementary deductions."

There is not much left after deductions and taxes, is there, Rodney?