Tax Return Ninja Pillows

"You failed to enclose with your rebate form the correct tail feather from an extinct bird species so we are unable to process your request..."

I'm self employed being self employed

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

"Taxation, meet Representation."

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

Work Du Soleil

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'

"If you have to ask what a loophole is, you probably can't afford it."

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

Retrofitting Tax Loopholes Since 1968.

'Sorry, you can't claim depreciation on your wife.'

Accountant to man: 'I can get you a rapid refund ... and an even quicker audit.'

'You feel it? Tax havens and Swiss bank accounts are back in!'

'Daddy, tell me again about the brave boy accountant who used his finger to plug the tax loophole in the revenue dike.'

"Ah Watson, reducing your taxes was simplicity itself. They were but elementary deductions."

"We'd like to go somewhere that qualifies as a tax deduction."

"Where's my bouncer when I need him?"

"I drive to work every day. Those are business trips, aren't they?"

Annual sleep disorder for tax accountants.