Tax Return Wizards Pillows

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

IRS Audit Section

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Amazing deduction, Holmes!"

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Taxation, meet Representation."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

IRS agent to lady: 'Your refund was delayed because of shredded paperwork ... but we're putting it all together with red tape.'

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

Look at it this way, you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway!

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

"You wouldn't dare say that to me if my accountant were here."

Monster under the bed.

People being buried under enormous falling tax credit forms.

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

"It's hard to deal with because it keeps mutating... not the virus... tax law!"

It's 10pm do you know where your 401-k is?'

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'

'Oh! Oh!, there's a problem! Your retirement savings to last your entire life, expired in March, 2009!'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'