Tax Wizardry Pillows

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

News and Magazines. Tax Bill Debate. The trickle-down can never compete with siphon-up.

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"This pesky decimal point seems to give you quite a bit of trouble."

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

"Taxation, meet Representation."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

"I see you've arranged your life and business so that you can deduct everything. Do you know the penalty for 'trying to beat the system'?"

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

The Meaning of Life/Tax Avoidance Advice.

Monster under the bed.

'It's tax avoidance crackdown avoidance.'

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

"It's hard to deal with because it keeps mutating... not the virus... tax law!"

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

The Accountant Husband

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

'...I also do some work for the tax department.'

"If you have to ask what a loophole is, you probably can't afford it."

IRS, 'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

'I wanted a few words about your tax return - have I called at an inconvenient time?'

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty to tax evasion by reason of math phobia.'