Tax-evading Wizards Pillows

"Well, a million dollars isn't worth much these days ... unless you can get rid of the Internal Revenue Service!"

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

Do you want this set of books, or the set you keep in the broom cupboard?

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

"We invested everything we had in our marriage."

Little Taxes.

"My bill isn't terribly controversial. It would provide modest tax breaks for people who don't really need them."

'First the good news - we don't have to pay any corporate taxes this year.'

'That was devious and despicable... keep up the good work.'

Put it through as an expense! Nobody's going to check, are they?

'Instead of a medal, could you just give me a tax cut?'

"Yes, a lot of peple say that I remind them of Christopher Lee"

"Let's make a deal. . . I won't audit you in exchange for a discount on one of your Warhols."

'Please enter the amount owed here...use an extra sheet of paper if required.'

It's 10 pm. Do you know where your tax loopholes are?

"Sorry for keeping you sweating, I'm putting you through now."

'Owner's kid. Gets paid under the table.'

And why are you enrolling in an accounting course? Well, one day...I hope to get a loophole named after me.

'Remember I said I wish I had more arms so I could get more things done? Well the doctor took care of that problem.'

'Everything I hide from the IRS I do it for the children.'

'I would donate to your charity, but it could draw the governments attention to me.'

IRS: 'Life isn't fair.' - John F. Kennedy

'I'm afraid you're going to have to reveal the exact extent of your economic clout, Mr. Fletcher.'

Actually, I was looking for a tax haven.

I.R.S. tax office with man sitting in front of agent's desk looking at RECOVERY & SCREAM ROOM door.

Duty Free Closed to Public

"Good luck getting my client's tax returns - he never even filed!"